Something is happening
I feel like the lake is actively welcoming me back. I walked halfway around it this evening, making some zen moments videos like this one. I kept finding wishing stones. One after another, after another. I ended up with six. Normal is finding one per walk around the whole lake.Continue Reading
Alabanza
“In the Heights” has been a glorious thing to see, but also a little painful. The ex and I had been looking forward to it for so long, and he’s just about the only person I know that was into it like I was. We actually talked about it onContinue Reading
I’m sorry
Last night, I was having another downward spiral and talking through it with my partner. As I worked through the things I felt I needed to say, which included at least three apologies, I realized that the source of this problem was my self esteem. Because of things I saidContinue Reading
If I had my life to live over…
On May 7, right at 8:00 in the morning, the judge began my divorce proceedings. By 8:09 am, it was finished, and I’d filed the final paperwork, walked down the stairs, and out the door. I get warnings from people who have been divorced: “It’ll hit you eventually.” “It’ll comeContinue Reading
Brain Dump: Sleepless
For the first time in what feels like forever – in reality, since the onset of RA/fibro – I’m having trouble falling asleep. I have no trouble falling asleep on my partner while watching wonderfully weird tv, but settling down at bedtime is a different story. At work: I rewroteContinue Reading
Understanding and execution
Yesterday, the county court clerk received the initial divorce papers I mailed out on the 12th. His copy and waiver should have been delivered yesterday, but even though I sent it certified Priority which doesn’t need a signature, the carrier didn’t deliver them. He’ll pick them up from his postContinue Reading
A sliver of light
I had a realization yesterday that shook me to my core: I’m actually starting to believe that I’m going to live in the farmhouse. As I told my partner, up until this point, it was a fun thought experiment, but in the back of my mind, I fully expected SomethingContinue Reading
Brain Dump: If it’s not one thing…
It’s another. And another. And another. At one point, I asked my therapist if it was just my perception, or if relatively significant stressful things really kept happening in my life at this pace. We talked about determining which things to actively engage with, and while I appreciate that, IContinue Reading