Yesterday, the county court clerk received the initial divorce papers I mailed out on the 12th. His copy and waiver should have been delivered yesterday, but even though I sent it certified Priority which doesn’t need a signature, the carrier didn’t deliver them. He’ll pick them up from his post office tomorrow, when his schedule allows.
I decided it was time to take this step when I understood and internalized that I no longer need this connection, I no longer want this connection, and having this connection no longer serves a purpose. I’m fortunate to have a friend that knows more than I do about the process, who kindly offered to type up the papers with our details, so I could avoid hiring a lawyer. Her help and the understanding that I gained let me forge ahead with confidence.
Tangentially, I watched an Adam Savage Project video with Laura Kampf, about shop organization. One of the points that came up in the discussion was that if everything is organized, when everything has its place, cleaning becomes meditative and is so much easier. That was a lightbulb moment. I know it’s logical and makes sense, but internalizing that is a game changer.
I’ve been working so hard at the office, at the farmhouse, outside at the farm, but I have been having serious trouble executing any cleaning or decluttering projects at home. Not too much has actually changed since he moved everything of his out. I have weird spaces and voids. All my things were organized to keep space for his things, and the organization system as a whole was influenced by both of us. Not only that, but my first order of retrievability for the spaces I find myself occupying most were not just for me, but to serve his needs as well.
Conclusion: I have to reorganize everything in my life.
Solution: Moving! But I don’t know when it will happen. I don’t even have an estimate anymore. But it would be the perfect time to completely overhaul the universe of my things and let them be where I alone need them to be. Meanwhile, I can at least work on the concept.