Free Palestine
This is the first time I’ve attended a protest by phone. You’re outside the campus of City College of New York. I’m outside under the same stars as you, but I know you can’t see them for the city lights. I ask you if you ever thought our lives wouldContinue Reading
We’ll make a real firefighter out of you yet.
That’s what T. told me after I dug into a burning pile of branches to rescue a kitten yesterday. The two week old kitten lost his whiskers, and I have a little burn on my hand, but we’re fine. E. and I were frantically pulling out branches from the litContinue Reading
Star stuff
One winter’s night, there was a rent in the clouds directly above, and looking straight up into nothingness, I could feel the cold of the universe pouring down upon me. That’s not how thermodynamics works. Logical Me knows that, but you won’t convince Emotional Me that I couldn’t feelContinue Reading
January is for dreaming
On the first, Cody and I walked around the place, talking about future plans, much like we did last January. While the house renovation has slowed down some this last year, we did accomplish a lot. My favorite part of these conversations are when he asks, for example, “What wouldContinue Reading
It’s the little things.
I feel like everything is going so well, but somehow, I’m only hanging onto my life by my fingernails. I’m not suicidal or anything like that, I’m just drowning. My partner and I are engaged, and every day since he asked, I’ve been positively joyous about it. It isn’t fadingContinue Reading
I’m not okay, I promise.
I’m decidedly not okay sometimes, and I can’t quite identify what I’m feeling or what caused it. I’m just writing my stream of consciousness, hoping it’ll help. Mom was more forgetful than usual today, but she was cheerful about it. It rips me apart to lose her inch by inch.Continue Reading
Something is happening
I feel like the lake is actively welcoming me back. I walked halfway around it this evening, making some zen moments videos like this one. I kept finding wishing stones. One after another, after another. I ended up with six. Normal is finding one per walk around the whole lake.Continue Reading
A sliver of light
I had a realization yesterday that shook me to my core: I’m actually starting to believe that I’m going to live in the farmhouse. As I told my partner, up until this point, it was a fun thought experiment, but in the back of my mind, I fully expected SomethingContinue Reading